Your Silent Saboteur: Comfort


We’re going to feel fear. But we have a choice to move through it, when we connect to our Spirit and voice and feel our fears, we can start to differentiate between what is scary because it’s a leap of faith, different or uncomfortable and what is simply not for us. The reason why it’s so important to build your connection to your heart and your Spirit through your own daily practice is that when scary situations come up, you can tell if it’s just fear that stopping you or if it just isn’t for you.

As humans, we can get really comfortable in the familiar, we can get stuck in patterns that feel comfortable, and the danger is we go unconscious. That’s how ruts happen, doing the same thing unconsciously over and over but desiring something different. It’s also the definition of crazy. Changing the familiar is scary, but when we feel the tug, underneath it is likely the truth that we’re not satisfied. A strong connection to our Spirit allows us to trust ourselves and our decisions.

Life is a constant stream of decisions, and you are a powerful being by definition. You create your own experience whether you are consciously doing so or not. Each moment is a creation, so our challenge to you is to create something great. That said, when you start to see yourself as a magician, a creator in the world who has influence, it can feel overwhelming.

Recently we were working with our client Miranda who was forty-nine years old and wanting to create a romantic relationship and find her passion. As a child she had lost her father and the effect it had on her was profound. Fear kept her stuck in a pattern that no longer served any purpose, and she felt powerless against the world.

In order to get unstuck, she first needed to realize that she was powerful. She had spent her life feeling like something was missing and that she was to blame. She held herself to an impossibly high standard and bullied herself into submission. Her fears told her that she wasn’t ever going to find a partner and that her life was being wasted. Yet, despite this constant barrage of negative self talk, Miranda had an urge to find herself again. She was sick of listening to the voice that told her to stay put. She wanted to explore the world and longed to travel.

When asked what her spirit wanted, she immediately blurted out, “Adventure!” The answer surprised us all and we started to laugh. But just as her spirit was starting to wake up and voice itself, her brain butted in and immediately began a laundry list of every reason why she couldn’t go: “I have work. I have bills to pay. I have to be responsible. I have no one to go with.”

We could see her intellect grasping at straws, trying to come up with a reason to stay stuck where she was. Yet, her spirit wanted adventure.

“Miranda, whatever scares you most, go there first! Life is too short to try and stay comfortable and safe. You know what the worst thing that will happen to you is?” Sabrina asked.

“I’ll lose everything and make a mistake?” She replied, hoping we would validate her fears.

“NO, the worst possible thing that could happen to you is that nothing at all will happen and that you’ll spend the rest of your life stuck exactly where you are now.” This was the truth. Living life may be scary, but living stuck in a rut and unhappy is truly terrifying. Boredom is the slow leak in a boat that can take a person down if they’re not paying attention. It doesn’t happen all at once, but there comes a point where there isn’t any light left in the eyes and no smile on the face. This is when fear of change wins over courage and adventure. And that’s the worst fate of all!

When we listen to our inner voice the spirit moves us to make choices that lead to a fun and happy life. Without joy, life is dull. Spirit is spice and color, adventure and travel. To be inspired, by definition, means to bring the spirit into something, and living an inspired life is fun.

So where does this leave us? Well, look at where you let your fear stop you. Where do you listen to the NO of your own intellect instead of pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, into a new experience?