Two Biggest Ways My Clients Sabotage Themselves When Manifesting
It's a beautiful day here in Pai, Thailand – it’s been a refilling past few weeks. Spending time in Thailand is like pushing the slow-motion button on life. The country, the people, the whole Spirit is connected to being present. I am in northern Thailand where the pace of life is much slower than my regular life in Paris. It’s been a valuable time to continue working on my second book, work with clients and find more space to drop in, listen to my intuition and pray.
In my last newsletter, ( if you missed it, find it as a post on soniaandsabrina.com), I talked about the importance of pursuing a genuine desire instead of a rational thought.
Once we get clear on what we actually desire, the next thing to do is craft your statement of intention. This is a simple statement – one which encapsulates what you want. Don’t make it overly complicated or become excessively practical.
One thing I often notice in working with my clients is that when deciding to manifest something new – to finally throw themselves into what it is that they truly want, there are two ways they might self-sabotage.
The first is the “edit” – the edit is when, upon making a decision, they try and edit what it is that they want to make it feel attainable. For example, one of my clients wanted to change professions. She was in banking and wanted out. What she honestly dreamed of was being an artist and using her art as a healing force. She had studied art in college alongside finance at her father's insistence. She chose banking as a safe and reliable option but hated it. She wanted to go back to school and become an art therapist. When she first admitted this, she felt connected to her heart and was so excited.
In the week between our sessions, however, she started to “edit” down what she wanted. Being able to succeed in any profession outside of banking suddenly seemed impossible, let alone succeeding as an art therapist.
Her friends and family would not get it, she feared. Her parents would be disappointed. Moreover, she also feared she wouldn’t be able to attract paying clients and needed to be “practical and sensible. “
Her fearful emotional editing caused her to doubt and abandon her original intention.
She decided instead that she would pursue her art for fun and stay in banking, trying to convince herself that this would be fulfilling enough for her – but we both knew and felt that her heart wasn’t on board with this practical plan. She was as unhappy as ever.
As you can see, the “edit” works by trying to assuage fear and find control when considering making a change.
"If I can just control how this will work out..." Fear naturally arises when making big decisions. Fear that it won’t work out, fear that it will work out, fear of the change our decision brings, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of asking too much for ourselves or the Universe. The list is endless.
As a way to safeguard ourselves from disappointment, we decide that we should shoot a little bit lower, not ask for too much, not be too big, not rock the boat. That’ll keep us safe we rationalize.
But, this logic is just masked low-self-esteem – it’s the belief that we can’t succeed before we have even put our pinky toe in the water and toward our dreams.
The other self -sabotaging behavior I often see in my clients upon deciding what it is that ignites their hearts and minds, is the need to figure out every aspect of how to get there before they commit.
This inevitably leads us back to the “edit”. For example, with my client, who first proclaimed her desire to be an art therapist, she decided she needed to get “practical” and map out her financial guarantees in advance. Doing this made her decide it was too much risk to make such a change.
Luckily we worked on overcoming fears and edits, and I’m happy to report she has shifted back to her original and authentic intention – and we are working on a practical step by step plan for creating her true hearts desire.
She is still working as a banker but has started to take night classes in different mediums of art and has started to reach out to a network of art therapists in Boston to learn about their journeys which have left her feeling even more energized and committed to her goal.
When manifesting, our job starts with the what-what do we want, what makes our whole body resonate with joy and excitement? Go with that. It’s not our job to have to figure out how all the pieces will fall into place, it’s not our job to edit what we want.
It’s our job to face and feel what we are afraid of, breathe into it, and transmute these fears into excitement. The difference between being scared and being excited can be the difference between breathing or not.
Our part is to use our practical mind to support our dream by helping us see what the next logical step is to bring it about and do that. One step at a time.
You don’t need to figure out the whole enchilada. First, decide you want to make the enchilada, check for what you have on hand to make them and a list of what is missing.
Once you decide on your recipe, start the creation. If you think about what a hassle clean-up will be or why it’s hard to go to the store and all the mental blah blah, you’ve turned making enchiladas into a joyless, maybe impossible task. It’s not.
The biggest reward in manifestation and creating your heart’s desire is enjoying the process – learning to appreciate the mess. We are Divine Beings sent here to create – it’s our birthright and our purpose.
So when deciding you are going to create something beautiful, let yourself have fun as you go for it before your inner “practical adult” interferes and tells you how painful and difficult it is going to be - because it never turns out that way.
Look at that desire that you’ve decided upon – notice. How far down the rabbit hole does your mind go? Come back and, train your intellect to assist you one teeny tiny baby step at a time to create it and trust yourself along the way. Tell yourself "I've got this".
Don’t settle for a can of beans when you can make enchiladas because we both know, in the end, it’ll be worth it.
Don't struggle in the confusion. Gift yourself an intuitive reading or series of three coaching sessions with me, and together we can light your way, ground your Spirit, and find the best, most direct path to creating your heart's desire. Book now at the link below.
All my love,
Sonia Choquette Tully <3
PS. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram or Facebook where I regularly post videos on a whole variety of subjects- my last two topics were about how to get grounded if you're feeling anxious and how to connect with your guides. There are a whole array of free resources to help you tune in and as always, please send me a message if you need any support! xx